mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
