fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
