he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
