I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize