Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
