Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just cut my nipple shaving
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Randomize
