where am i from again
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
