He asked to "fluff my boner.."
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
