my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I need moral support for this bender
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
