the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
