Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
