Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm way too hungover for life right now
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
