Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize