508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Randomize
