My boss' voice literally gives me gas
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
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Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
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Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
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