I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
