I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
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I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
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We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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