Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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