Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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