have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
