She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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