we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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