so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
