wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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