My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
