Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
