I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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