i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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