I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
