there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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