I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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