we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
