We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
