Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
