Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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