so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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