Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
