somebody snuck up and got me drunk
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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