Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
