just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
