I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
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Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
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I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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