Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
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apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
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It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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