ugly people sure do ruin things
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
