pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize