I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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