New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
