Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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