I wish I could teleport
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
