There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
