White coat. Heels.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
