Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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