This girl is more easily done than said...
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
