just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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