this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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