Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
