Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
