you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
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told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
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He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.