Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Randomize
Follow @tfln