I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part