They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.