Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
