He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
