So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
